Dirty Magazines on the Seventies Show

In season 3 of That Seventies Show, Donna discovers that Eric has a stash of dirty magazines, despite exclusively dating the hottest redhead in Wisconsin (her!). The main magazine title being read is “Playpen” which is a parody of Playboy. Pretty mild compared to what most kids have access to today. Donna, as predicted, gets furious and then researches the issue in a scientific manner: she asks the circle. Is there nothing more conclusive polling teenage guys smoking pot in order to arrive at the truth? What is the truth? Donna’s conclusion is that men are disgusting and can’t help themselves.

I think that best describes it, though really it is much more complicated. See Donna, men were naturally designed by evolution to be pigs (not literally, back off creationists). To screw with anything that might possibly bear offspring which resulted in some rather poor judgment and some surprised sheep. It still results in poor judgment and doing a sheep will get you thrown in jail (plus these days, you have to drive pretty far out from the city to find a sheep).

Can men help themselves from screwing everything in sight? Sure, they can and one of the ways is using the imagination versus actually “doing it.” Dirty magazines prevent cheating, not encourage it. Unfortunately, some women want control over the mind as well as the body so they have developed a philosophy of “thought cheating.” If you think about doing it with another woman, you have cheated. Well no. The women we men think about it doing it with would in reality be repulsed by our very presence and our lack of money. How can you cheat when the other party isn’t reciprocating. If you imagine sleeping with the woman in your head, you’re only cheating with your own brain’s perverse version of a woman.

If you think your man is a lousy cheater for having a stack of magazines under his bed then why is he with you? Debt? Possibly. But I say he really does love you. The fact is, he’s trying to come to a compromise with his own biological urges and instead of ditching you for the next piece of ass he has decided it is better to stay and simply imagine and release (and by release, yeah, we mean release–eww).