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THE WRITTEN ABSURD
Yo Mama Jokes on Swenson Funnies
The playground showdown always involved insulting someone's mom, no matter if she was fat or thin, stupid or smart. Now, with the upsurge of TV shows like "Yo Momma" on MTV the classic formula is back and better than ever.
These are jokes were either sent to me or I've read them before and have been passed around with a variety of wordings. I am not sure if it is proper to say "Yo Mama" or "Yo Momma" so I will use both interchangeably.

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up.
Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and yelled,"STOP THAT TWINKIE!"
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma so-o-o fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets on a scale it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge with her.
Yo momma so fat, that when she goes to a resturant she looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"
Yo mama so fat she tripped and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
(this one may be embarrassingly true)
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo Momma so poor she does drive-by shootings on the bus.
Yo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well, Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop.
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo Momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers.
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo momma's so stupid she studied for blood test & failed.

I'll add more as I come across ones I like.
If you have a favorite one feel free to email me.

Someone sent in this email:

your momma is as dumb as a brick and gets laid by Mexicans.:-)

But I don't get why it is an insult to be laid by Mexicans? Maybe it's a racial joke I don't get or maybe this person just doesn't like Mexican People. However, it sparked a better joke that came to my mind:

Yo Momma is so ugly Mexicans run back across the border.

Explanation sent in by Emailer Dan:
remember that yo momma joke you couldn't get?

"Your momma is as dumb as a brick and gets laid by Mexicans."

Well, the joke refers to the stereotype that Mexicans work in construction sites illegally(therefore *laying* bricks), and the common expression which claims that one is "as stupid as a brick".
The conjuncture of these two folkloric ideas, brought forth in a yo momma joke, yields the following polysyllogism:

1. Yo momma is a brick.
2. A brick 'gets laid by' Mexicans.

Therefore yo momma gets laid by Mexicans.

A nice play on words.
Submitted by Emailer:

Yo' Mamma sooo stupid, she brought a spoon to the superbowl.
Submitted by Emailer:

Hey man,

I got some yo-mama one liners for you:

"Yo mama so fat, her blood type is rocky road"
"Yo mama so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on the bitch"(this might cross a decency line but thats upto u)
"Yo mama so fat, that her belt size is equator"
"Yo mama so stupid, she tried to find the 'any key' on her computer"
"Yo mama so ugly, her webcam cracked"
"Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the electric scale it said 'one at a time please'."
"Yo mama so ugly, she can break up an LA traffic jam"
Submitted by Emailer:

Yo mama'a soo dumb, she ran into a parked car :)
Submitted by Emailer:

yo mama so ugly when she was a child she had to trick or treat over the phone
Submitted by Emailer:

your mama so fat she has to iron her pants in the drive way.

your mama so fat she went bungy jumping and fell straight to hell.

your mama so ugly it looks like shes been bobbing for apples in hot grease.

your mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

your mamas lips are so chapped it looks like shes been eating powdered doughnuts.







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